Saturday, May 23, 2009

Hardest decision ever



Schnauzi - August 15, 1995 - May 23, 2009


For 14 years, my Schnauzi (miniature Schnauzer) has been my companion, dearest friend, my baby.  Today Schnauzi will take her last breath.  She hasn't eaten in five days, her kidneys and liver aren't functioning well, and her little system is shutting down.  This has been going on for several weeks, and although she doesn't seem to be in pain, the vet said that she is in a deep malaise.  She still purrs like a cat when I'm holding her, and she tries to be close to me at all times.  They say one can't prepare for the inevitable.  It is true.  I have known for a while now that I have to let her go, but that doesn't mean anything today.  At 3 pm today my husband is going to put her in my lap, and we are going to a very caring vet.  When we come back home, she'll be buried under the little pear tree, and I'll plant a young lavender delphinium.  My tears haven't stopped since yesterday.  My heart is breaking.

23 comments:

dog trot farm said...

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Letting a dear pet go is one of the hardest decisions we as human parents have to make. There really are no words to make it easier, but know in your heart how much love you gave and received in return.

Farmgirl_dk: said...

Thinking of you and our sweet girl, Schnauzi, momma. I'm going to miss her so much. -d.

frugalmom said...

Im so sorry. The passing of a sweet companion is such a hard thing. She has had a wonderful and happy life with you.

Sending you many, many healing thoughts from Illinois. -Marcee

Dawn said...

I am sorry about your baby, your sweet little Schnauzi. Today there is pain and sadness, but tomorrow she will be free. May your heart will retain only the love not the pain.

Jennifer said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been there and I know that there are no words to make it feel any better, but just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. -Jennifer

the7msn said...

Dear Danni's Mom, my heart aches for you. I will share with you my favorite quote about dogs, from Agnes Sligh Turnbull. "Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault, really."

Great big hugs from all of us at the 7MSN.

Mim said...

There are no words that I can say that will take your pain and grief away. Just know that I will be thinking of you and praying for you on this sad day.

goatgirl said...

I am so sorry Danni's mom. Although it may not seem so now you made a very caring decision. I am thinking of you today.

Farmer Jen said...

I am crying with you today. I can only imagine how painful this decision was for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your family and with Snauzi. She knows how much you love her. She will always be with you.

Marigold said...

We are so very sorry for your loss, Danni's mom. It is so hard to lose our friends, but I know Schnauzi will be waiting for you and is happy and running through fields of flowers while she waits. Goat kisses and Peanuts to you.

Marigold

Steffi said...

Rob, Julia, Andrew, Gabriel, Kai, and Steph are sad with you today.

We love you...

P.S. Referring to the comments above- You're also "Steffi's mom" :)

Farmgirl_dk: said...

Dear other daughter of Danni's mom:
I'm so glad you're my sister. :-)

Carolynn said...

I came right over as soon as soon as I heard what you were going through today.

My heart is breaking for you. I have been where you are. It's an impossible choice you're faced with. The love that you have for her will not end when she takes her last breath. And, she will never be far from your heart.

Allow yourself to grieve fully and honour her in whatever way feels right for you. Take comfort in knowing that you gave her a wonderful life.

Carolynn

ga.farmwoman said...

I as so sorry. I understand how much it hurts to lose a friend and companion.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
Pam

cityfarmer said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. Our dogs are such constant, loving companions and true members of our families. Having been where you are now, I can assure you that the pain does eventually lessen, and you will be left with only happy memories and Schnauzi's enduring love. You are doing the most important thing the mom of an aging pup can do. You are loving her enough to let her go. Run free, Schnauzi. -Lee

sugarcreekstuff said...

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Sending love from Michigan.

CaliforniaGrammy said...

It is because of your love for Schnauzi this decision was made. I know the tears will well up often over the next few weeks, but all the good memories will soften the blow. My prayers are with you during this sad time.

threecollie said...

Sorry to read of your sad loss...she looks like such a little dear...

Wrensong Farm said...

Whenever someone loses a beloved animal member of the family, I cry. I cry for you, and I cry for me and all our losses, in the past and to come. Schnauzi couldn't have asked for a better life. My heart goes out to you. HUGS! Tammy at Wrensong.

Sarah said...

I am so, so sorry. I had to put my border collie down last fall in the prime of his life and it broke my heart.

My thoughts are with you.

Zitrone said...

I am so grateful for all of your gentle thoughts. I have read your comments over and over, and as I continue to grieve, I will read them again. I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart.

I need orange said...

I am so sorry. I know how hard it is when we must send them on without us.

Leslie said...

I am so sorry. I too have had to make this decision and it was one of the saddest days in my life. I had to wipe my tears to finish reading the entry because it brought back the feelings I had then and it made me think that one day I will have to say goodbye to my sweet Taffy. I hope your sadness is easing.